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Hearing that your child has been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is a life-altering moment in any parent's life.

For Toronto mom Leslie Carter, that news came five years ago when her daughter Caitlin was six years old in the Grade 1 French immersion program.

Carter said the journey to the diagnosis began when the teacher told her Caitlin was struggling with understanding and was having a hard time keeping up with the rest of the class. This led to her daughter, who is naturally high-energy and sensitive, being extremely frustrated and displaying behavioural issues.

"She was doing things like talking back to teachers and bullying other kids," Carter said.

Thinking the French program was too much for Caitlin, Carter pulled her daughter out of the program and put her in the English stream. But when Caitlin's behavioural and academic problems weren't resolved, their pediatrician suggested the six-year-old get an assessment.

Carter took her for a psycho-educational assessment, a testing process that covers things like I.Q., academic level and other comprehension and attention tests.

"The assessment is a combination of their mental health and their academic potential and the results were that she clearly had severe ADHD," Carter said.

Mimi Hoffman is the executive director for the Learning Disabilities Association Toronto, a North York organization that helps advocate for, and has educational programs for, children, youth and adults with learning disabilities and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Hoffman said there are three patterns of behaviour that indicate ADHD: inattentiveness, hyperactivity and impulsivity. While ADHD is a neurobehavioural disorder, Hoffman said it is not categorized as a learning disability.

"You can have a learning disability and not have ADHD, but there's a high propensity of kids that have ADHD accompanied by a learning disability," she said.

This is because ADHD causes lack of focus to stay on task, making it harder for children with the disorder to retain information at a certain pace, causing problems in the way they learn.

After Caitlin was diagnosed, Carter said she didn't feel relief but instead went into a bit of denial because the "what now" process had to begin. She said with this type of disorder there's a lot to learn and many recommendations.

"The challenge is there is no specific treatment. Yes, there are drug therapies and behavioural modification techniques you can do, but they're very difficult and it takes a long time to learn them and not every one will suit your child," she said.

The Carters didn't put Caitlin on medicine until two years later because they didn't think her issues could be solved by a pill. However, after doing all the non-drug therapies first, the improvement wasn't enough.

"It wasn't easy. ... It was a bit of trial and error finding a medication that would work, but a lot of it is not getting the right medication, but the right dosage," she said.

There are still a number of questions surrounding medication, Hoffman said. With new ones coming out every year, there's an ongoing debate as to whether the medication is safe and the possible long-term effects, which Carter said she worries about.

Hoffman said even though many people have found medication helpful, it's not a given that if your child has ADHD that you need to medicate.

"I think a well-educated parent finds all their alternatives and then they make a choice that is good for them and their family," she said.

Besides finding the right medication, a large challenge for kids with ADHD is the social struggles.

Carter said Caitlin has had a tough time in the past with friends who didn't have the patience or the know-how to deal with her daughter.

Hoffman said when others don't understand the nature of a child's disorder, it can turn them off and be frustrating. Worse, people think a person with ADHD is slow or stupid.

"They miss a lot of social cues, they don't read other children's faces well, they can't pick up happy, mad, angry, sad because their brains move so fast they don't take the time to stop and think about problem solving...," Hoffman said.

At home, things can also be difficult for the parents and other siblings.

Carter said her younger daughter Madelaine is quiet and easygoing, which is a great balance for Caitlin. However, Carter admitted they probably haven't spent as much time with Madelaine as Caitlin requires so much attention.

"It's very difficult on siblings. They always feel the other child is getting more attention and they're getting left behind; it's like any other illness in that the sibling doesn't understand so it's important to educate them as well," Hoffman said.

Carter said her biggest challenge is staying calm and being patience because Caitlin's hyperactivity and high intensity means she has irrational responses to normal things.

"She might spill a glass of milk and scream at the top of her lungs and kick, or if there's not the type of bagel she wants at the breakfast table, she could have a meltdown," she said.

While it has been and will continue to be a journey, Carter said today Caitlin at 11 is doing well and they've seen a large improvement behaviourally and academically with her latest medication.

Also, Caitlin's focus at school is better and she feels more confidence, like she's fitting in with others, Carter said.